Meli Mel's Book Reviews

♥♥♥ 5 HILARIOUSLY ALL GROWN UP STARS ♥♥♥

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"Love and lists. Just remember, love and lists. Nothing else matters."

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You're also probably wondering how in the hell I can possibly be twenty-five years old when just yesterday I was four. I know, it's a tough pill to swallow. I'm not a foul-mouthed, cute little kid anymore. I'm now a foul-mouthed, cute adult. I take after my parents, so obviously I'm good looking.

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This was pretty much me when I found out Gavin was going to have his own book. It did not disappoint. I loved the Chocolate series so much. And when Gavin was a little kid, he was hilarious as hell. I could not wait to read this. Right from the very beginning, I laughed and didn't stop till the end. Gavin is now twenty-five years old and the Creative Director of Liz's Sex Toy store, which is part of Seduction and Snacks. He is in love with Liz's oldest daughter Charlotte, but the problem is they grew up together and he knows she only sees him as a friend. In comes in his über hilarious best friend, Tyler (whom I loved for his weirdness). Tyler comes up with the idea of making a list of things Gavin should do to make Charlotte fall in love with him, and so commences the funny mission. Little does he know that Charlotte has a plan of her own.

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My penis is like a magnet and she's a hot piece of steel. As soon as she walks into a room, the magnetic pull begins and I feel like I have to hold on tight to something. Otherwise, my penis will drag my body over to her and slam itself up against her, like a dog grunting and humping some poor, unsuspecting person's leg... My poor penis wants to hump her leg and she wants to be friends. I feel bad for my penis. He's had a rough life.

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So while Gavin tries crossing things off his list, his family tries to get involved. Yeah, as in Claire, Carter, Liz, Jim, Drew and Jenny. It. was. so. freaking. funny. You know their advice is going to be really helpful... NOT! They may be all older now, but they are still so immature. I know, shocker! They haven't lost their crazy sense of humour and still shout random verbal farts. It was AWESOME!! Oh, how I missed them all. Poor Gavin just wants Charlotte to notice him as a man and not a friend. But things keep going wrong for him.



There was an incident involving Viagra. (It was so FUNNY!)

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"I'm afraid to touch it. What if it gets worse?"

"Dude, you don't have a gigantor penis. It can't possibly get any bigger. Maybe it's stress. I get stress hard-ons sometimes. If The Gap gets really busy and I don't have time to fold all my jeans, it can turn into a problem."

Sometimes I wonder why we're even friends.

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And ladies... if you are trying to be sexy for your man, mustard will not do. Or any condiment that can be put into a burger. (Well, unless he's into that...) USE chocolate syrup, or caramel, but stay away from the mustard!!! I almost bust my gut from laughing so hard.



I loved all the characters. I really LOVED Tyler. He was such a goober and so funny with his "crush" on Claire. He would always flirt with her and joke about plotting Carter's death so he could be with her. At least I hope he was joking. He was so much fun and kind of reminded me of Drew for all his inappropriate remarks. I'm really hoping he gets a book next. It would be so great!

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"Shut up about my mother."

"No can do. She's going to be mine one day. You should just start calling me dad now," he says nonchalantly.

"I'm going to punch you right in the ball sack if you don't shut up,"I warn him.

"Don't take that tone with me, young man."

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"I'm not crazy, right? This means you love me?"

I laugh and shake my head at him. "You idiot. Of course I love you. I loved you even when you were mutilating my Barbies and calling me labia..."

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Tara Sivec even made car sex really friggin hilarious. It was all cramped in there and not very steamy like it looks like on T.V. I laughed so hard in that scene. Especially when Charlotte started thinking about Children of The Corn because they were in a corn field. It was definitely something to remember.

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"Really, my phone isn't broken," I reiterate.

"Dude, Charlotte is really good with phones. Ler her touch it," Tyler snorts.

"Gavin, If you don't give me your phone right now, I'm going to reach into your pocket and take it out myself," Charlotte argues.

"I am so turned on right now," Tyler whispers.

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There were SO many scenes that had me gasping for air and wiping tears from eyes. It was that humourous. I also loved that Tara Sivec incorporated the joke about the 'long distance phone calls' into the book. Gavin had totally forgotten about it, and I could not stop chuckling when he realized what it meant. While, Charlotte had no clue. I seriously couldn't put this book down. I REALLY enjoyed it. It is the PERFECT book to read after reading a dark book to lift your spirits. It totally did that for me and I didn't even read a dark book prior. My stomach hurts from laughing so much. I recommend this book to everyone who has a quirky and immature sense of humour like I do. I am so looking forward for what else will be in store for this series. I can't wait to read more about Gavin as well as all of the other 'Chocolate Lovers' children. I know it will be awesome!