Review: Tell Me It's Real by T.J. Klune

Tell Me It's Real - T.J. Klune



♥♥♥ 5 "HI-larious and Real" Stars ♥♥♥




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"Sometimes I wonder if you should be on medication," Charlie said. "It can't be healthy to have you thinking all by yourself without some kind of pharmaceutical intervention."

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Oh, how I loved this book. I loved it to pieces!! It was just so perfect to me. I kind of want to marry this book and all the characters in it, it was that good. Just a warning to all those who are considering this as a future read...DO NOT READ IT IN PUBLIC!! Trust me...unless you want to get stared at like some weirdo, then by all means do it, if that's your kink. Oh yeah, and DO NOT DRINK WHILE READING THIS!! There was a moment my life flashed before my eyes and I thought I would for sure die from choking on my water. Not fun.




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"I get what I want. You better be ready, Paul."

"That's just...well, I never. I don't even...who does he think he is? Tasting like coffee and...bastard...this is my work...running out of Post-its and shit. I'll show you until five o'clock on Wednesday. I don't need no man. Fucking Kelly Clarkson. She ruins everything It's not going to happen, Paul. Not going to happen. Oh sweat balls."

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I was 1% into this book, and already it had me laughing like a loon. I love the funny inner monologues that Paul had. Like I said before, my laughter garnered a lot of attention from family and co-workers. And of course when they ask what is so damn funny, I'm not about to tell them what it involves!!...Like a huge black dildo, or a menstruating ghost, or sex faces for example. Yeah, then they would for sure think I was weird...which I'm not...much.




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"It was as if God himself saw that my intention was to make my outer self match my inner fabulosity and didn't think the world could handle such an explosion of amazingness. So instead of letting me get to the gym where I would have transformed myself into a walking sex god, he created a Dunkin' Donuts out of nothing and then gave them away for free. I didn't make it to the gym. I had a bear claw instead. And a maple bar. And some donut holes. And then some more donut holes."

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Paul was an insecure because he doesn't have the physique of a male runway model. He complains a lot, is sarcastic, a cynic, and just says things that pops into his brain. He also rambles a lot. He was so funny and entertaining, and he just didn't see that. He is also a big klutz, who has unfortunate things happen to him...constantly. But, he is smooth-ish when it comes to recovering from those things. He is also quite dramatic and freaks out easily. All those things were what I really liked about him. See, how wonderful he is? Okay...he also has a big heart, happy? Oh, and he thinks Vince is "Freddy Prinze Junioring" him, it's a real word.




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"You may as well just say yes. I saved your life, and that means you belong to me now. I'm totally going to Freddie Prinze Junior you so hard later."

"That's not what that means!" I shouted after him, causing people to stare at me like I was the ridiculous one. "You don't get to make it sound dirty and hot!"

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Then there is Vince. He was smoking hot jock with abs made for doing laundry. He was everything Paul wasn't. Vince was incessant in his pursuit for Paul. Sometimes it was hard to understand Vince, but the more you read, the more you got him and how genuine he was. He wasn't the brightest bulb but he was loving and sweet to Paul. He even made me swoon so hard at one point. He was also an animal whisperer, I think, because of how easily he bonded to Paul's two legged dog named Wheels, and the homophobic parrot named Johnny Depp. Together, Paul and Vince were just perfect for each other.




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"Isn't it obvious? Vince is the Dominant and Paul is his submissive. Look how Vince is holding onto him like he owns him. It was probably just from a rough scene in Vince's playroom. Vince may have made him pretend to be a pony, like on that one HBO show that we watched. You remember? Where that one man put that bit in the other man's mouth and made him wear a saddle? We promised ourselves we'd always support Paul with whatever he chose to be. It just so happens he's kinky. We'll support him not matter what."

My father nodded as if this made complete sense. "You a pony, son?" he asked me.

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This book was just amazing. I can't stop saying how I laughed so hard I almost peed myself--which I was glad I had the forethought of wearing a pair of Depends for just the occasion. I loved the secondary characters like Paul's sassy best friend/queen Sandy, his parents that shared too much information, his rude grandma Nana, and even Darren. I also loved the lessons learned here, because believe it or not, there was one in here mixed with all the humour and craziness. I loved it all.




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"Because sometimes it’s about letting go of what your mind tells you and following what your heart shows you instead. That’s how you know it will always be real."

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Near the end, things got a bit emotional and I teared up bad, some even falling down my cheeks. It was painful but I loved how strong and more secure Paul became. I loved how things concluded for Paul and Vince. I was all warm and tingly and smiling so big. It was beautiful!! I completely adored this book and definitely recommend you give this a try. Especially if you want a light funny read. Don't let the cover dissuade you, because this was freaking brilliant!!