Review: Find You in the Dark by A. Meredith Walters

Find You in the Dark  - A. Meredith Walters



♥♥♥ 4 Cray-Cray stars ♥♥♥




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“The most perfect memories are the ones too painful to forget.”

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After finishing reading this book, I still don't know what to think. This book was a wild ride. It was some heavy and quite emotional stuff. It touches the subject of mental illness which is never an easy thing to read about. So, let me tell you how this was for me.



 

 

In the very start of the book we meet Maggie Young --the sole narrator of the book--a teenage girl who is laid back, happy, and pretty much speaks her mind. She has her two best friends Rachel and Daniel that love and support her. Then she literally bumps into the "new guy" at her school, Clay Reed. They don't make a very good first impression. But soon, Maggie is determined to become his friend. She finds out Clay has moved in with his aunt after living with his parents in Florida. After, a "problem" they sent him to his aunts.

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“When you're in a room, Maggie, all I see is you. You make everything better. Clearer. You stop the crazy noise in my head. I can think, hell, I can breathe when we're together What you make me feel is the most unbelievable and scary thing I've ever felt.”

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I liked the first part of the book, I really enjoyed it. I was very curious about this hot Clay guy. He seemed so lonely and quiet that I also became intrigued, just like Maggie. I liked seeing them interact, especially with that physical chemistry between them. They were so cute and adorable. But very quickly I realized that there may be something wrong with Clay. His mood swings were giving me whiplash. One moment he was happy and so much fun, the next he would be pissed off and cold. I started to worry about him and wanted to know why he was behaving the way he was.

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"I love you so much. Sometimes it hurts."

"I don't want it to hurt, Clay. Our love should make you feel wonderful."

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Later on, we find out that there is in fact something wrong with Clay. It becomes hard for Maggie to talk to him because he can spin anything she says to something negative. The more she pushes him in hopes for him to get better, the more difficult it is to be at his side because of how hurtful he can be (no, he did not physically harm her). Clay was stuck in dark place in him mind full of negativity, insecurities, and self loathing. It was so hard for me to read all the harm he caused himself for hope of some sort of relief.




I was so saddened by all of it. I didn't get why no one had ever tried to help Clay, like really help him or monitor his behaviour. The middle to the end, was full of craziness. There was a point where I thought I just couldn't take any more crazy. Things started getting out of control with Clay turing quite cray-cray. I got so frustrated with Maggie, and how quickly she made light of his issues at times. It was obviously serious but she would enable him at times, and that drove me nuts. I get that she was a teen and all that jazz, but she slowly lost herself by becoming completely wrapped in Clay's world. That...I did not like one. Bit.

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“And if he went into the dark again, this time I would be there to find him--to follow him. Because I thought, perhaps quite immeasurable that my love could help him. Maybe our love could even do more than just help--maybe it could heal him. Fix him. Fix everything.”

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I felt for Clay, really I did...but there was a point where I became kind of scared of him. I feared for his safety and that of Maggie's. The whole situation was just messed up. I loved that vulnerable, sweet, and loving side of Clay. Who wouldn't? Especially with the swoony things he would say. But once the dark side came out, he freaked the crap out me. I just wanted him to get the help he so desperately needed.



The story was well written, but there were parts that it felt like it dragged on a bit. There was some moments of fun, laughter, and a bit of steam. There were some heartbreaking scenes as well. While I enjoyed the first part of the book, I felt like the middle and end frustrated me way too much. All I can say is that the way Clay acted was pretty realistic. This wasn't a rainbows and unicorns kind of story. It was dark and heavy. I wasn't able to completely fall in love with Clay, but I did care for him. I started with liking Maggie, too not liking her too much. She just made so many mistakes. She did end up making the right decision at the very end. It was a sad ending but I thought that it was a perfect for this story. It was just right for both of the main characters. Overall, I thought this was a really good read.